All in the Family

Genesis 45:1-15; Romans 12:14-21

John Stoltzfus, LMC, August 17, 2008

 

The Smothers Brothers, a great comedy duo, who some of you may remember, were famous for their sibling banter. Their sibling banter was humorous partly because it cut so closely to the truth of the tensions many of us experience in family relationships. One of their trademark lines was: “Mom always liked you best!”

 

Of course, this sentiment was not original to them. We see it all the way back in days of Joseph and his brothers. Back in June, we looked at the story of Abraham, Sarah, Hagar and Ishmael; a story of incredible brokenness and sorrow yet also promise and provision. Three generations later, the family dysfunctions continue with Joseph and his brothers. And some of the same themes emerge: rejection, hurt, favoritism, broken promises. It truly was amazing that God continued to use this family as the vehicle of God’s revelation and blessing in the world.

 

I was inspired in reading the entire story of Joseph and his family this past week. This story connects with us today.

 

In the bulletin, there is a blank side on purpose; you may have grabbed a pencil on the way in. During this sermon I invite you to write down a place in your life where you desire to name the presence of God: where you desire good to overcome evil; where you desire reconciliation in the midst of conflict; where you desire healing in the midst of hurt; where you desire to forgive or be forgiven; where you cling to hope in the face of despair; where you desire understanding in the muddle of confusion…at the end of the sermon I will invite you to place those pieces of paper in a basket and we will gather them here at the front for a prayer as a way of symbolizing our desire to release these circumstances into the hands of God.

 

Certainly this story is not a prescription for every situation of hurt and brokenness and conflict. Each is unique. Yet, this reality of God’s good purposes prevailing in the face of evil becomes a golden thread that reaches through the biblical story to be fully revealed in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus.

 

Yet, seeing and naming God in the midst of harm, hurt and conflict is not always a straightforward process. On the cross, Jesus cried out,” My God, why have you forsaken me?” In reading the story of Joseph we have to understand that this process of reconciliation with his brothers took place over many decades. And the ability to name God as being present in that story took many years to recognize. How do we name God as being present in these events? How can we participate in this overarching story of overcoming evil with good, keeping open the door for reconciliation, and trusting in God’s good purposes? 

 

The story of Joseph and his brothers is a long, convoluted tale of broken relationships and a series of dreams in search of meaning. I want to allow the story to largely speak for itself. For those of us not as familiar with this biblical saga, let me share the abridged version.

Joseph was, indeed, the favored one his father loved most. He did not help himself out. Joseph was a bit of a brat exhibiting bad judgment in telling his brothers about his dreams in which they bow down to him. So, in the heat of the moment, his brothers seize the opportunity to sooth their jealousy. They bind him up and throw him in a pit to silence him. They then sell him as a slave and let his father assume that he was killed by a wild animal.

 

This is the revenge; we do the same. We cut off people rather then deal with the hard work of naming our hurts and fears. We cut off communication, withhold love, allow bitterness to build into a wall…we say that they are getting what they deserve. Yet, who of us gets what we deserve? The gospel is all about receiving grace unearned and mercy unmerited!

 

Once in Egypt, Joseph ended up as a slave for Potiphar. As a trustworthy worker, Joseph became overseer of the household. Somehow Joseph maintains his integrity despite the chaos of his life. Whether our family of origin was filled with grace and compassion or whether it was filled with strife and brokenness, God’s grace enables us to live with integrity and faithfulness. We are not simply victims of the past or of generational dysfunctions rather God’s Spirit empowers us to live and act in a different way. 

 

At this point in Joseph’s journey, the teller of the story begins to bring God into play. It simply says that the Lord was with Joseph and made him succeed and prosper in whatever he did. But in spite of this, calamity still follows Joseph as he is betrayed by his master’s wife. Potiphar’s wife saw something desirable in this young man and, like in the worst of soap operas, went after him, but Joseph refused her advances. She then accused him of making advances on her and Joseph was rewarded by getting tossed to the bottom of another pit.

 

I don’t imagine that Joseph would have been able to name God’s presence in his life at this point. The same is often true for us in the middle of crises or conflict. From our perspective in reading this story we see at every corner God waiting, to shift events ever so slightly. The apostle Paul later put it this way, "...all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). For those stuck in the middle of rotten situations, such words are better spoken after-the-fact, even though, by faith, we try to live them out.

 

We do get the impression again that Joseph continued to live with hope that God was still watching over him for he lived with integrity and wisdom. He understood that while he could not control what happened to him he could control how he responded.

 

For while he is in jail, his actions once again lead him to a position of oversight and responsibility. There must’ve been something about Joseph’s character that inspired trust. Joseph not only dreamed big dreams himself, he was gifted in interpreting the dreams of others while in jail. Eventually this ability brought him in contact with the ruler of Egypt, who was plagued by a recurring dream he couldn’t understand. Joseph told Pharaoh, point blank, that it wasn’t through his own wisdom that dreams made sense. God was somehow involved.

 

Whatever hubris that Joseph had as a young person was tempered into a sense of God’s overriding presence in his life.

 

The dream was about an upcoming famine and, amazingly, Pharaoh placed Joseph in charge of preparing for it, with wide discretionary power. When that famine hit, Joseph’s family back in Canaan were hit as hard as everyone else. They hear that Egypt has a food reserves and so Jacob sent his sons, all but the youngest, to trade for grain. So, as the story goes, one day Joseph’s brothers appeared on his doorstep but not recognizing their brother in this new role.

 

Now, tell me, what would you have done had you been Joseph? Perhaps you have faced similar junctions in your life, where you must decide what to do with garbage from the past. Will you let it go and move toward forgiveness or reconciliation? It is a situation that most of us will probably encounter not just once, but many times in the course of our lives. The toughest cases involve those we love the most. A stranger cannot do as much damage there as someone we love and trust. That certainly was true for Joseph.

 

Joseph’s response is counter-cultural. The major story teller of today, Hollywood, uses redemptive revenge to sell its movies. We’re all too familiar with this plot line…the hero is grievously done harm, he overcomes adversity, and then at the end, enacts “sweet” revenge on the offender. This story is reflected in how we respond both personally and as a nation.

 

Did Joseph welcome them with open arms, immediately proclaiming his kinship with them and showering them with loving care? Not quite. This story involves flesh and blood people who struggle to do what’s right, and Joseph is no exception. He seemingly toys with his brothers. He makes them runs through several hoops. Perhaps he wants to know if he can trust them.

 

Joseph accuses them of being spies and tosses them in prison for three days. He then made a deal. "Leave one of you here with me and the rest go home and bring back the youngest son." Simeon was bound before their eyes and they were sent on their way. It almost seems like Joseph is getting them a taste of their own medicine.  

 

When they returned home to Dad, they had to explain the loss of yet another son. And Jacob was resistant to sending Benjamin for fear of losing another son. Eventually the food ran out and they had to return with Jacob’s youngest son, Benjamin. Judah, the brother who had thought of the idea of selling Joseph into slavery, persuaded his father. "If I don’t bring him back, let me bear the blame forever." Maybe he had changed from the time that he had sold Joseph into slavery.

 

Upon their return, Joseph arranged an elaborate meal for them, but I don’t imagine anyone ate much. It was not an easy process for Joseph to reveal himself to them. The hurts of the past would not be easily overcome. Three times in the story as we have received it, Joseph wept, overwhelmed by a flood of emotions.

 

Finally, we come to this morning’s scripture reading. In response to a plea from Judah, who lays it all on the line, Joseph is deeply moved and reveals himself. Please note, however, Judah never asks forgiveness nor confesses his part in what happened long ago. Sometimes it doesn’t happen that neatly, and we must decide whether to forgive, or to allow the pain to continue by staying in a pit of our own making. Long-held grudges imprison us in the past and limit our freedom. Forgiveness is important for our overall health and well being.

 

It is important to note that later on, after Jacob dies, there is still work of reconciliation to be done in the family. You can read through chapter 50 to get the rest of the story.

 

Joseph now places God center stage of this saga. Joseph does not say God caused the evil and harm done to him but he does place God’s good purposes at the heart of this story.

It wasn’t merely a matter of brothers harming a brother. No. "God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors," Joseph told them. "So it was not you who sent me here, but God; he has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt."

Later Joseph said, "even though you intended to do harm to me God intended it for good..."

 

Joseph made the decision to participate in God’s good purposes, overcoming evil with good; giving blessing instead of a curse; giving food to his enemies: those who had seriously injured him. We are a part of this story of overcoming evil with good…

 

May we be revealed as brothers and sisters in Christ, loved and called to carry out God’s good purposes.